Love Can Be A Parental Problem-Phase II

That’s right, love can be a parental problem. All of the love and devotion in the world to your children can’t undo ill advised words and actions said and given to your children. This is the continuation of Dan and his parents from phase I.

So here we have it. Little 7 year old Dan was hysterically walking and crying down the sidewalk while carrying his little suitcase his mother packed for him. Dan really had no idea where he was walking to. Nor did she have any inkling the parental problem she unintentionally created.

He took this particular trail because he had an inkling this would lead to his father coming home from work. (Unknown to Danny boy, his mother was following him, just to make sure nothing bad would happen to him.)

Sure enough, Dan saw , through his tears, a familiar figure way down the sidewalk. Yes, it was his father coming home from work. This was Chicago, in the 1940’s. Most people didn’t have cars then. They got around on public transportation-buses, streetcars, and Ells. Too bad they didn't have a cure for Dan's looming parental problem.

So, Dan and dad finally got home. Mom explained to dad what happened. Dan was so thrilled to be back home, to have a home for goodness sake, that he ran into his bedroom and went to bed. And, this is when the Monster in Dan’s life was created.

Dan swore to himself, he would never piss off any more adults, for fear of having no love or place to live. That meant parents, teachers and all authority figures. Dan has lost his security and confidence. Think of his poor parents and their parental problem.

Time went on, so did the years go by, and those “old bad things” were forgotten. Certainly so by Dan boy. Unfortunately, the Monster was lurking in Dan’s subconscious, just waiting for a signal inorder to explode his devastating nature onto Dan.

It really didn’t take so long for Monster man to get his green light to do his thing. Dan was 12 years old and his was getting used to the new school he was in. It was a parochial religious school.

One of the academic requirements here was doing daily memorizing of bible verses. That is, class memory bible recitations. As time went by, Dan found that he was having difficulty remembering his lessons. This soon became a source of great consternation for Dan. And, a parental problem for his parents.

He was confused and frustrated by it, because he never experienced a shortcoming like this before. Most importantly, this seemingly inadequacy, in Dan’s eyes was a threat to his self-esteem. Here we go.Remember, the danger from Authority Figures when Dan was 7 years old? Good golly Miss Molly, Danny boy is in deep trouble. There goes his parental love and security again. Remember, running down the sidewalk with his suitcase, crying his eyes out. I can imagine his mother was crying with her developing parental problem.

So what did Dan do about this new Monster coming after Dan? For sure, Dan knew he couldn’t talk to anyone about this problem. It was too embarrassing and threatening.

I tell you what he did. He started reading the Bible. He drew great comfort from the words that said Jesus loved him. In those Bible pages Dan drew great comfort and security. What the heck, it kept the Monster man away, but not the parental problem.

Dan didn’t just read the Bible, he devoured it. Practically 24 hours a day. The short story is at near the end of the school year for Dan, his concerned parents took him to the doctor. The doctor told his mother that Dan boy was physically worn out. He occasionally got students from West Point that were in Dan’s condition. This is very funny, because Dan was only 12 years old at the time.

His parents took him out of that religious school, shortly thereafter. Dan was aware that something bad had happened to him. He figured it had to do with the Bible reading. Dan swore to himself that he would never ever allow himself to become deeply engrossed in any subject or study again. Never ever!

So, Dan set himself up with bogeyman #2-No more concentration of studies. In effect, he created a mental block for all academic study. He unknowingly screwed up his future potential. That meant no difficult courses in high school. He just got by in high school. He didn’t live up to his potential at all.

His mother was concerned about his happiness and adjustment. She sent him to a psychologist who informed him he had a concentration block. This was in the 1950’s. The counselor advised doing rote mathematical exercises. Dan didn’t worry about it. His parents didn’t push it. Thus, the parental problem loomed.

In the mean time, there was a whole lot of “shaking going on and good time were had by Monster Man” who had Danny boy by the throat. You got it. Monster Man had Dan down and dirty with two enchiladas-absolutely no confidence in himself, no emotional security, and a concentration block. Not to forget, the parental problem.

This is ironic, because Dan’s parents were actually very loving and caring for their son. They loved and adored him and he loved them. Nobody had a clue what was going on.

I mean nobody knew that Dan boy was being held hostage by the ever threatening Monster Man with his fear and insecurity. All because of some stupid “green beans”. Additionally, that mental block for concentration had developed at a very influential time in Dan’s life.

Time is a healer of just about everything. This rule even applied to Dan boy. Yes, it took many years before die was able to diagnose his problem with emotional insecurity and concentration problems. But, eventually, it all came out in the wash.

I am happy to report Dan boy can now concentrate like there is no tomorrow. And yes, he is emotionally strong and solid as a rock. The wisdom that comes with age and insight leaves Dan a happy well adjusted man.

Dan doesn’t play the “what if” game. That is fools play. At least that’s the way Dan looks at it. Oh, I almost forgot to mention…Dan still won’t eat green beans. SEE PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY-PHASE I

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